SAG Becomes Legal – It’s Party Time

The Screen Actors Guild awards turns 21 on January 30th and in honor of celebrating its legal drinking age, it’s time to take the SAG’s to a whole new level for that I present a drinking game to help you pass the time.

The rules of the game are simple: I get a winner right, you take a drink. I get one wrong, you take two drinks. So as the night progresses those copy-and-paste speeches everyone does will get easier and easier to tolerate.

Admittedly, I don’t watch the SAGs too often, mainly because they don’t have a ‘writing’ category. That’s right, some people actually stay in the room to watch Screenplay winners get handed out instead of using the restroom or hitting on that cute co-worker.

Besides, it’s always funny to watch people who sit in their rooms in front of a blank page for months and months negotiate their nerves as they stare down the most famous people in the world, let alone the millions watching at home.

So as I was researching this year’s event, I came across some interesting stuff. For example, if you go to Sagawards.org you’ll discover a countdown clock ticking away to the show’s start like this is the Super Bowl, the Apocalypse, or the pre-sale tickets for Star Wars. I’m sure it is to some but it made me laugh out loud.

Gonna throw this out there. How about a new award for Best Performance By an Extra? Remember the guy in Jurassic World who hilariously grabbed his drink before running away from flying dinosaurs? I think he deserves something more than a meme.

But the thing that stood out most to me is that NETFLIX has the most TV show nominations with eight. HBO has six. You read that right. That little company with a bright red envelope you’d pull DVD’s out of is now hoping to get their name pulled out of a bright gold envelope. And while I don’t know how many times it’ll happen, it’s a hell of a way to start off a network.

That being said, onto the hardware…

Best Actor – I love DiCaprio. Might be the best actor of his generation. He’s nominated for The Revenant, but should be nominated for not acting totally devastated when he lost last year. Or the year before that. Or the time before that. If he loses again, I’d love to see him flip a table on his way out the door. That’s entertainment! And so was The Revenant. Just give him the damn award already and end the suffering. And if you’re keeping score at home, that’s ZERO SAG awards for Leo, TWO for Queen Latifah. Just sayin’.

Best Actress – I’d love to see this award go to Sarah Silverman. Comedians never seem to get recognized for their work outside of their specific category. Besides, how many Kate Blanchett or Helen Mirren speeches do you want to see in your lifetime?

Supporting Actor - I’ve been following Idris Elba’s career ever since his killer performance as Stringer Bell and would love to see him get a win for Beasts of No Nation. But if it comes down to the wire, Christian Bale’s haircut in The Big Short might just nudge him out. It’s caveman sheik and that’s tough to beat.

Supporting Actress - Here we go again with dame Helen Mirren. She’s setting up a Time Warner type of monopoly at these things, the only difference is no one wants to burn her house down and Helen Mirren will never make you wait eight days to send a technician to your house.

Best Ensemble - This is probably the category I’m most interested. It’s gonna be hard to take down The Big Short in this one with Pitt, Bale, Gosling, Melissa Leo and Steve Carell, but if anyone does I hope it’s the fellas from Straight Outta Compton. As a child of the 90’s I remember NWA well and thought they really killed it. Besides, who doesn’t love an underdog?

Now onto television where things get really interesting.

As for the best performances in a TV Movie or Miniseries, I have NO opinion because I don’t watch TV Movies or Miniseries nor do I know anyone else who does unless someone they know landed a part in it. So take a drink for neutrality and lets move on.

Actor in a Drama Series - I’d personally give it to Odenkirk for his performance as Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul. I wouldn’t be completely surprised if Game of Thrones swept every single category it was nominated for, but being it was the last season of Mad Men, you can hand the thing to Jon Hamm now and be done with it.

Actress in a Drama Series - I think Robin Wright rolls on for House of Cards, nudging out Claire Daines for Homeland.

Actor in a Comedy Series - Louie CK, Louie CK, Louie CK. Maybe William H Macy for Shameless. But really, Louie CK.

Actress in a Comedy Series - Julia Louis-Dreyfus owns this category and has since she played Elaine on Seinfeld. But Amy Poehler was great as Leslie Knope on Parks and Rec and will take home the award as a tribute to her work on the final season of one of the funniest sitcoms of the decade.

Ensemble Drama - Again I’d go with G.O.T. but wouldn’t be shocked if they gave it to Mad Men as a goodbye to one of the most talked about shows in recent memory.

Ensemble Comedy - Anybody but Big Bang Theory! There, I said it. Have you seen it?! They’re just nerds who jumped the analog shark in season two yet still bang out award after award. Parks And Rec? Snubbed. Shameless? Nope. A bunch of socially awkward adults with perfectly timed one-liners? Every year.

Hope you enjoyed the drinking game (and the SAGs). I’m sure you’ll be pretty tipsy by the end as I won’t get many of these right. And if you pass out early, be sure to check out my Monday morning recap, you just might need a Bloody Mary first.

Haute Tease