Teen, Tortured and Shamed by Dad, Commits Suicide

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Isabel Laxamana, a beautiful raven haired ‘tween, suffered the brutalities of bullying when her father believing discipline, including shaming, would stop any future poor social media choices chopped off her long hair on camera and uploaded the video.

In reality it did. She killed herself later a few days later by jumping off an overpass into oncoming traffic on Interstate 5 just outside of Tacoma, Washington.

She landed on the roof of a passing motorist who, like everyone in traffic that afternoon, watched in horror as a small object appeared to fling itself over the bridge. Isabel hit the hood of a passing vehicle. She died later the next day from injuries sustained in the fall.

Isabel’s Last Days

Isabel, allegedly, made a poor social media choice. As adults we sit back and wait for the accompanying circumstances, details, something . . . Again in this situation, she allegedly sent a boy a suggestive picture where her long beautiful hair parted on the side made her appear older than her thirteen years, clearly sexy and beautifully sultry.

A poor choice for a girl to want to appear beautiful to a boy.

Another posting has surfaced which show her happy to have finally achieved her "perfect body" dressed in what could be beach attire, short shorts and a bikini top.

Nipping the sexually suggestive in the bud. Next thing it will be a topless shot or worse as the parent’s imagination begins to fill itself with a more expansive knowledge of the wrong roads social media can take people and possible has with all the porn, and social predators trolling the web. The situation at hand had to be dealt with.

In Isabel’s case killing her already fragile psyche, mentally destroying her self-esteem, robbing her of what she felt was the most beautiful about herself, was the punishment of choice.

Apparently she didn’t suffer years of abuse, which has been made public, more than likely, frequent outbursts as she began to get closer to puberty and independence.

She and an unidentified boy had a social media connection that included pictures sent to each other. Imagine the giddy feelings, butterflies, tingles, he wanted a picture! Sending that picture cost Isabel her life.

Her Punishment

Isabel stood alone in what appears to be a garage. Her voice soft and subdued. The person filming identified as Jeff (and allegedly her father) asks her repeatedly "how many times had he warned her" She wasn’t stripped physically and beaten, physically, for the camera.

She was shamed. A punishment dating back to biblical times of cutting a woman’s hair, robbing her of her crowning glory, meant to shame her as she must maintain her lifestyle now with chopped locks or bald.

Isabel’s hair lie in a pile on the floor, panned by the camera, six or eight inches of raven hair. Her spirit, gone. Desperation, the idea of living like this, with the single feature she felt made her beautiful, gave her the most joy, and she was barely a teenager, gone. And with it her life, also gone.

Isabel still had to face school, another highlight. A group of 7th grade mean girls looking for someone to deflect any attention from themselves found it on this day. Isabel Laxamana had been publicly shamed by her dad and if he didn’t respect her enough to show discretion than we certainly have permission to do the same. And they did.

This wasn’t the first day of the bullying. She had said in a suicide note on Tumbler she had experienced bullying for some time.

Punishment

The Tacoma D.A. has decided not to press charges against the father for the death of his daughter.

Even as the predicate act which instigated the tragic events that led to the Isabel’s suicide was her hair being chopped off, Jeff, as he is identified will not face any criminal punishment. Not even child endangerment charges.

No list has been released of Isabel’s alleged poor choices and bad social media site mistakes.

Teen Suicide

Teen suicide is not uncommon. The media express the same sad shock as the epidemic continues to kill more adolescents who, in still thinking like children, are thrust into adult worlds with decisions and choices, barraged with information, and worse other children who can be incredibly mean, cruel and violent. The violent trend is not simply major cities, it is across the board throughout every country in the world. The shock of seeing any person, let alone an adolescent, was stunning.

Violence is at epidemic level. The Center for Disease Control has classified violence at epidemic levels Without high profile interest and no monies for research violence, in all its forms, will rot away at our society.

President Obama stated recently "civilized nations don’t have this type of gun violence" in response to another mass shooting.

Public Shaming, a form of mental abuse, meant to humiliate, subjugate and degrade, in some cultures is strictly how females are kept in line. The melting pot of America is bringing many customs and cultures into mainstream

Hindsight is always 20/20 and parents, caregivers and others often talk in group discussions on the social media controls and which punishment works best in combating the poor choices and wrong decisions, something Isabel had time to recover from, when it comes to social media and the trend to explore outside parental controls.

Public shaming, physical abuse, mental abuse or abuse of any kind has never been a collective agreed upon choice.

Socio-economic boundaries don’t appear to effect the seemingly universal choice for poor social media behaviors as parents across the economic bandwidth seem to choose to take away the electronics as punishment.

Had the child been physically abused where visible marks were left, the possibility of a Child Welfare services could have been recommended by the school as all schools and teachers are legally bound to report cases of child abuse is stronger.

Shaming, humiliation or mental abuse, torture, even physical torture that doesn’t leave on the surface markings could get past the system.

We don’t live in a perfect society, although we allegedly live in a civilized one, which renders this type of "punishment" outdated and archaic. Children are not possessions. They are human beings with developing emotions. The brain's frontal lobe doesn't complete growth until early 20's.

The damaging effects of abuse, in any form, are lasting. Childhood sexual trauma is the number cause of adult suicide. We owe it to our children, and to the world, to teach them better, to show them love, discipline with skill and not the heavy hand of torture.

Decision making for all adults is based on variables. Most adults make decision based on three to four variables, in the case where police or detective work is involved, past reference becomes a large percentage of the initial determination prior to any investigation which severely limits the initial investigation process.

After which length of service or past personal reference, the most believable person or in Isabel’s case the adult version and finally as the child is dead the fragments of poor choices and bad behaviors that left her hurling herself into oncoming traffic.

Police are overloaded, and in some cases, wear judgmental blinders severely limiting objectivity.

 

Suicide Prevention - Call 24/7. A confidential hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Visit the website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

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